Third Times a Charm?

Most of us believe in 2nd chances...AND 3rd, 4th, and 5th chances!  How many chances should we give a partner who keeps disappointing us?

That is so hard to say because everyone matures at different rates and everyone also learns lessons at different times.  I will say from almost 99% of observations from others and also in my own life - that everyone deserves a 2nd chance - but I do not believe in that 3rd chance. I have yet to see anyone that actually changes after that 3rd time trying to work it out again. I have seen individuals change when given that 2nd chance, because sometimes a wake up call is what is needed.

We all make mistakes and deserve that 2nd chance - but if someone makes another mistake and most likely the same mistake again and again -- I don't believe in that 3rd chance and beyond.  That person has already shown their true colors and if you choose to give that 3rd chance, you will most likely be setting yourself up to taking them back or forgiving them again and again giving them multiple chances to work it out.

When bad behaviors keep repeating, we need to accept that behavior and either decide to accept it or let go. Most likely that person will not be changing and those behaviors will keep happening.  I once was talking to a counselor and she told me that most people don't change.  UNLESS they truly want to, they can't change permanently if they are changing just to appease you or to get you back. That change will be temporary and the old behaviors will slowly start to resurface. (and by bad behaviors I am not talking about  "he/she didn't take the trash out / my laundry wasn't done" - I am referring to things we shouldn't tolerate over and over and again: i.e. lying, cheating, being disrespected, etc.)

Of course, it's human nature to believe the best in everyone and especially in that "special someone" we are spending our time with. BUT have enough respect for yourself to walk away after that 2nd chance if the same issues are still occurring, even if it is very painful - put yourself and your future as a priority. Typically our gut (intuition) tells us what the right thing is to do, but we convince ourselves to give those additional chances and hold onto hope that it will eventually work out.  Save yourself time and heartache and be very cautious of that 3rd chance!