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Showing posts from August, 2018

Create a List

When dating, it is easy to lose perspective and get caught up in the newness and butterflies.  That is why it's important to create a list of everything that is important to you. We all have that right to expect these things in relationships.  For the most part, the things we expect in relationships are common sense.  However, once those new feelings and infatuation begin -- our brain turns to mush.  That is when we make excuses for that other person, telling ourselves that it's fine to tolerate these things that we know are not right. A sample of my list includes (BUT it's really a much longer list): IMPORTANT FACTORS IN MY RELATIONSHIP/THINGS TO REMEMBER ~ honest intentions ~ courteous and kind ~ respects me & others ~ emotionally available ~ communication ~ intimacy (not just physically, but mentally as well) ~ a great life behind closed doors (do we have fun one on one) ~ a fun person in social settings (does he get along with my friends, etc.) ~ alwa

Don't Rush - Let Your Relationship Evolve Naturally

That feeling when we first meet someone and the sparks begin to fly - It's the Best! The relationship moves along, we spend all of our time with the our new partner or as much time as we can. When we aren't with them, we anticipate the next time we will hear from them, whether it's via text, phone, social media, etc. We feel so relieved that we have found our "one" and we rush to get to the end result before actually getting to know that other person and them getting to know us. By "end result" I mean, rushing to have that title of boyfriend/girlfriend, rushing to live together and even rushing into marriage. Most of us have seen marriages that have happened within weeks or months and we hear of the fairy tale and how it all unfolds. That definitely is possible and there definitely can be a happily ever after in those situations, but MOST of the time -- that is not the norm, nor is it a wise move to progress so quickly. It takes time to get to

90-Day Probation Period

Most of us have heard of the 3 month rule or a 90-day probation period. WELL, we all should apply this to dating as well! I once went to a counselor and she told me "most" people cannot pretend for more than 3 months. There is something about the 90-day probation period psychologically and that's why businesses use this method as well.  Of course there are always exceptions to the rules, there are individuals that can pretend for years, but for the most part - true colors start surfacing within those first 3 months. Consistency of someone's character is crucial to the success of your relationship!  Once you start dating, look for those characteristic traits you want in a partner and also be aware of the characteristic traits you don't want in a partner. Simple things that you can tell you about a person's character: How does this person treat others (friends, coworkers, waitress/waiter when you go out, etc.) Are they consistent? Do they do what they