Wait for the Guy

That feeling when we first meet someone and the sparks begin to fly - It's the Best! The relationship moves along, we spend all of our time with the our new partner or as much time as we can. When we aren't with them, we anticipate the next time we will hear from them, whether it's via text, phone, social media, etc. We feel so relieved that we have found our "one" and we rush to get to the end result before actually getting to know that other person and them getting to know us. By "end result" I mean, rushing to have that title of boyfriend/girlfriend, rushing to live together and even rushing into marriage. Most of us have seen marriages that have happened within weeks or months and we hear of the fairy tale and how it all unfolds. That definitely is possible and there definitely can be a happily ever after in those situations, but MOST of the time -- that is not the norm, nor is it a wise move to progress so quickly. It takes time to get to

Most of us have heard of the 3 month rule or a 90-day probation period. WELL, we all should apply this to dating as well! I once went to a counselor and she told me "most" people cannot pretend for more than 3 months. There is something about the 90-day probation period psychologically and that's why businesses use this method as well.  Of course there are always exceptions to the rules, there are individuals that can pretend for years, but for the most part - true colors start surfacing within those first 3 months. Consistency of someone's character is crucial to the success of your relationship!  Once you start dating, look for those characteristic traits you want in a partner and also be aware of the characteristic traits you don't want in a partner. Simple things that you can tell you about a person's character: How does this person treat others (friends, coworkers, waitress/waiter when you go out, etc.) Are they consistent? Do they do what they

How many times have we been in a relationship and we put our own needs on the back burner because pleasing our partner is more important?  Don't get me wrong, nothing is wrong with wanting to make your partner happy, we all should do that.  BUT not at the expense of dismissing our own needs. When this situation happens in a relationship, it becomes very exhausting and it also sets up your relationship to be full of resentment. You will start resenting your partner because it becomes one-sided.  This behavior allows your partner to take you for granted very easily, and it also is stressful on you to try to be this "perfect" partner.  When dating, if you don't break this pattern, every relationship you get in, will head down that same road again with the same ending. This is a trait of CoDependency! Just to be clear on what CoDependency is: It is an emotional and behavioral condition that affects an individual's ability to have a healthy, mutually satisfyi

Most of us believe in 2nd chances...AND 3rd, 4th, and 5th chances!  How many chances should we give a partner who keeps disappointing us? That is so hard to say because everyone matures at different rates and everyone also learns lessons at different times.  I will say from almost 99% of observations from others and also in my own life - that everyone deserves a 2nd chance - but I do not believe in that 3rd chance. I have yet to see anyone that actually changes after that 3rd time trying to work it out again. I have seen individuals change when given that 2nd chance, because sometimes a wake up call is what is needed. We all make mistakes and deserve that 2nd chance - but if someone makes another mistake and most likely the same mistake again and again -- I don't believe in that 3rd chance and beyond.  That person has already shown their true colors and if you choose to give that 3rd chance, you will most likely be setting yourself up to taking them back or forgiving them agai

So we have all been there before, told ourselves after a break up or getting our heart broken that we would never repeat our past and date "that" type of person again.  BUT again and again, we fall for the same type of person that breaks our heart. We make excuses for them, we hope they will change, we only ignore things that were once important to us, etc.   During one of my break-ups I decided to stay firm this time when dating, stay firm as to what I wanted in a partner. I needed to "Wait for the Guy"!  I read an online article that about wait for the guy that made an impact on me: https://thoughtcatalog.com/becca-martin/2017/02/this-is-the-kind-of-guy-you-should-wait-for-2/ .  I saved the article, I printed it out and read it often. Of course we can't expect perfection from someone, we are all human - none of us are perfect! However, we can expect someone to treat us the way we all deserve to be treated, and to make us a priority among many other th